Spiritually , when will the cows come home?

The asparagus people will disguise themselves as invisible unicorns in order to smuggle their contraband teddy bears into the demilitarized zone. The women of the unufilumungdubhunumi tribe will tie your shoelaces together if you don't watch them as they sliver over the ceiling. Why cannot you see that the people living in my underwear want only to steal the holes from our bagels?